In Our Haunted House

By: Andrew Gold

Please come in

You're welcome here

Mind the the cobwebs and the bones

May we invite you to spend the night?

Make yourself at home.

Step this way...

Here's the living room,

Though dead room is actually more correct

Cause there hasn't been a living soul here

Since grandpa broke his neck.

In our haunted house,

we'll treat you like one of us.

But in our haunted house,

That could be hazardous.

Browse around the kitchen,

Have a spoon, a fork, a knife.

You must excuse those ketchup stains,

we ate someone last night.

Here is your big bedroom, dears,

You'll love the creaky bed.

You'll sleep just fine, but when you wake,

You may still feel half dead.

In our haunted house,

the butler is a ghost.

The upstairs maid's been buried for years,

And the chaufeur's comatose.

In our haunted house,

our hospitality,

is something of which we're very proud...

Oh, do you take poison in your tea?

Don't let the spiderwebs mess up your hair,

Don't mind the piano playing with no one there.

The crumbling bookshelves covered with dust,

One or two headless bodies...what's all the fuss?

The dreadful pounding,

the screams and moans,

It's just a typical

night at home.

In our haunted house,

Things float through the wall

You might see sights that chill the soul,

Be sure to wear a shawl.

We'd love you to come in,

Stay awhile and play.

Once you finally settle in,

You'll never go away...

We'll make sure of that.

In our haunted house

In our haunted house

In our haunted house

In our haunted house

In our haunted house

In our haunted house

In our haunted house


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