So far, so good.  Now, did you buckle your seatbelt?  Oh, I forgot, there are no seatbelts.  I should really talk to someone about that.  Well, it's going to be a bumpy ride so hold on tight.  By the way, make sure to turn up the volume and turn down the lights during our ride. Gives the trip a more...relaxing feel. <evil grin>  Oh, and if you need anything, like for instance sanity, call for Igor.  Oh here he comes now...


Igor doesn't talk much.  He mumbles and moans, but his words are incomprehensible.  So, I wouldn't rely on him in what you would call a "crisis situation."  What's that?  You want to get off?  Sorry, the doors are closed and locked, and can't be opened until the end of the ride.  So just relax, and don't forget to look out the window as I point out the interesting things we'll see.  

The train begins to move...